My sister got married last month. At one of the many parties leading up to the wedding, I met several family and friends who I hadn’t seen in years. Unfortunately though, a relative who probably saw me 20 years ago had almost the same things to say that she had then. “You are so thin, why don’t you eat? that’s why you aren’t getting married.” Most of these people would say nastier things 20 years ago, of course, always out of concern! Things like, my parents ate all the good food and don’t feed the scrawny child. Or who would ever marry a girl with no hips, how will she ever bear children? These were common concerns of people who had little to do with me. I wonder if they ever thought of the impact that has on a child growing up, confused about why she is so thin? Why is it bad to be thin? It pushed me, as a child to eat butter and chocolates so people stop calling me names and stop my parents from embarrassing remarks.
Every time someone hears that Cheeky Ninja is married, they are surprised. “She doesn’t look married!”, is often the comment. So what does married look like? Is it a pre requisite that you stop caring about your looks once you are married? Are married women supposed to look different from what they usually look? Have these people ever paused before making a judgement on someone’s appearance and put themselves in the other’s shoes? Who gives them the right to decide what is good, how one is to look and comment on it.
People are constantly saying things like “you are so petite, so small or tiny.”, to both of us. They act like they are paying a compliment! How would you like it if we started calling you fat, tall, or a giraffe, oversized luggage or maybe chunky ? Those can be insulting, but calling someone small or thin isn’t? It is high time we stop making loose statements and jokes about others. The common notion is people say things like its a compliment or a concern! If you really care about someone, express your concern privately and keeping in mind their feelings.
It took me years to became the body confident person am today but was growing up with insecurities required? My friend and fantastic journalist Shreya wrote this insightful read on body shaming. Body shaming works both ways and while I have grown up being shamed for being too skinny, fellow blogger Amena battled being plus size.
One of the objectives behind writing our blog, is to address body shaming and provide a platform for personal style. Woman come in all shapes, sizes, colors, age and relationship statuses.Nobody is perfect or maybe everyone is? Either way, what you make out of your life, how many lives you touch for the better, is eventually what makes the difference.
Red Shirt Dress: Janaki Dani
Black Crop Top: Janki Dani
Neckpiece & Earrings on both: Malvika Vaswani